I love the quote from the book "Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage" by H. Wallace Goddard, PhD, he said, "The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others." He also later states, "The natural mind is an enemy to truth. Each one of us sees our own versions of "truth" and imagines that no one in the world sees truth as clearly as we do." The way I like to analogize it is by looking through binoculars at something and trying to describe what we all see. Each one of us will be describing something totally different because we see it and understand it differently. Instead of fighting about what we see, we can talk about it and describe it. It reminds me of the talk "Discovering Truth" by Elder Uchtdorf. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXiGaV8tY5M&ytbChannel=Mormon%20Channel We all can take a piece of truth and shape it into what we believe to be true. In the end, we need to trust the lord. In Mosiah 4:9 "man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can Comprehend".
When we think we know all and everything, it becomes pride. President Ezra Taft Benson, "Beware of Pride", shares that "Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God's. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of "my will and not thine be done". We aren't only this way with God and ourselves but towards our fellowmen.
So what is it that will help us break pride and thinking "we" know what is true? "Let us choose to be humble" (Benson). In our marriages it is humility and repentance. (Goddard). According to John M.Gottman, PhD, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work", he shares how we need to allow the influences of our spouses on us to help us make decisions together. If we do not, we can cause further problems in the relationship, even bring out those four housemen out. Gottman says, "statistically speaking, when a man [women] is not willing to share power with his partner there is an 81 percent chance that this marriage will self-destruct." There is that dang pride. Lets not let pride and being a know it all ruin our marriage. Let us be equal.
Story:
I am far away from perfect but we have a slight influencing problem. We just had an incident this last weekend. My husband reminded me a little about Tim from the end of chapter 7 of Gottman's book. He had invited his family over after I just got done telling him I was not ready to face his family, his family had betrayed my trust a few months ago. When they got to the house, I got flustered and I grabbed my children quickly and got out of the house. I made a seen that was embarrassing but I felt set up to make that scene because I just told him I wasn't ready. All those feelings flooded back which caused all of that hurt all over again. It wasn't fun. I couldn't face my husband after that night and went straight to bed because I was disappointed in him. I went to the temple on Tuesday to help me fight this hurt all over again. I was able to find peace but still need to sit down with my husband and talk about it when he gets home from his work trip.
I know that was a deadened story but it helped me to humble myself to overcome the hurt and turn to the lord. I want to work it out with my husband, instead of hold onto pride. Pride is not the answer and will not help the marriage work. So grateful for the gospel and the temple to help bring on peace.
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