Wow, such great readings and learning about the four horseman.

1.Criticism

2. Contempt

3. Defensiveness

4.  stonewalling

Great book by John M. Gottman, PH.D. the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

Friendship

Repair attempts

active listening 

resolving

I watched these videos and cringed a little. I knew that my spouse and I are guilty of this. I noticed that I have understanding my spouse a lot more since I started to read these books. I have really felt the need to "Draw Heaven into [my] marriage". I don't think it is only someone needs it more than others. In Goddard's book, it is needed all the time. ( read a paper back book) On page 22:

The change of Heart he says: "We do not become celestial by adding a pinch of Jesus to a terrestrial life. At some point we simply throw ourselves on His merits, mercy, and grace." Not a pinch but all of ourselves are needed for a change. That to me  means all the time. We live with God and work with him always to keep our marriage together. 

He shares at the end of Chapter One: Creating Your Own Story, I also like what he says here,

"But good marriage is not about skills. It is about Character". 

It makes me think about Gottman and him saying the biggest myth of all is that communication or maybe we can be active listeners. "I" statements and engage, acknowledge in the other persons pain. "I hear you or "I fee your pain". 

It doesn't surprise me that Gottman would find physical research in our hormone (BLOOD) and know what is going on under the service. It just gives it another sense of depth to his research and findings. Not just how it affects marriages but also the children. I want to hear more. It integers me.