What is your normal in your community? Does children or religion have anything to do with getting married?

What types of communities did you grow up in? Was it a single parent home, cohabitating parents, or a stable two-parent home?

The type of community I grew up in was like a bubble. I was raised with parents who loved each other and stayed together and they continue to stay together. My two-parent stable home was a normal thing in my world and the same for all of my friends. They all had parents that showed love for each other and continue to stay together. When I got older, like in high school, some of my newer friend’s parents were getting divorced or were already single. Cohabitating wasn’t really a thing until I reached College in the year 2004. For me, I started to hear more about couples cohabitating because their parents had a terrible divorce experience and they were scared it would happen to them.

According to Amato’s article he shares how important it is to have two parent roles in a child’s life. Even if you needed to get divorce because the marriage wasn’t very stable, it was important to remarry and in sync with your new spouse and share the same values and disciplines together towards the children. Over time, it will help the child or children gain trust and respect for the new parent in the home. What do you think? Do you have a step parent in your life that you could find respect for?

In the quote from President Kimball, he stated, “…only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” Some specific types of things we can do to ensure we preserve our family in the midst of gathering evil, is to stick to the basics. The foundation of the gospel to any problem are these primary answers, read your scriptures, personally and with the family, say your prayers, personally, with spouse, and with the family, go to church and take the sacrament, let your children see that you pay tithing and fast offerings, and above all, let your children know you attend the temple with your spouse as often as you can. When your children are of age, start Family Home Evening (FHE).

 These are the things I have done and I can tell you as a testimony that if you stop these basics of scripture reading, prayer saying, and church going, life gets a little crazy and you will soon ask the questions what am I doing wrong? Life gets busy with work, children, homework, and other tragic events in our lives that we don’t put God first.

When we do that, we aren’t seeking the blessing that our Father in Heaven is waiting to give us as long as we do what he asks of to do. I know that if we do these things it will strengthen your family and personal life.

What is The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints position on divorce? In the talk called
Divorce by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the twelve Apostles he states:

“Bishops do not council members to divorce, but they can help members with the consequences of their decisions. Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.

Latter-day Saint spouses should do all within their power to preserve their marriages. They should follow the marriage enrichment counsel in the First Presidency’s message in the April 2007 Ensign and Liahona.⁵ To avoid so-called “incompatibility,” they should be best friends, kind and considerate, sensitive to each other’s needs, always seeking to make each other happy. They should be partners in family finances, working together to regulate their desires for temporal things.”

When searching for a new companion, get to really know him/her and his/her family. Know if this person will work out for you. I know that people change during marriage and it isn’t easy to stick with that person when they have betrayed your trust. If it isn’t abuse, we can find away to repent and make it right. Like I mentioned above, go to the basics. My husband and I aren’t perfect and we have had some rough patches. I really thought we would get divorced at one point because I knew something wasn’t right but he wouldn’t open up to me. After a few years, I have had it and was about to leave with the children until one day, someone told me what was going on. Nothing serious, he was scared to share something he did wrong and needed to fix with a few people. Once it was fixed, we worked on our marriage and family. We continue to work at it. It isn’t perfect. I have been married 12 years and we’ve lasted this long because we put God first by praying, reading scriptures, going to church, and recently, attending the temple more often then normal. I noticed a big difference in our relationship since then. It takes time and work. Don’t give up!